I’ve been a professor for a long time, so I love to engage with academic literature and translate their findings into my clinical work. There are a few major researchers in Psychology and Psychology-adjacent fields who’ve devoted years to studying estrangement.
One scholar whose work I follow is Kylie Agllias, a social work researcher in Australia. In one study, which I’ll cite below, she interviewed 25 adult children who’ve been estranged from a family member. These adults initiated or maintained the estrangement.
She interviewed them about their experiences being estranged, and I’ll highlight her key findings:
- The adults felt the estrangement from their family as a significant loss that impacted them across their life. The estrangement had an impact for a long time.
- They felt the loss of the family and the benefits of such a relationship, including emotional, financial and physical support. The estrangement had an impact in multiple realms of their life.
- The estrangement from family also impacted their experiences of relationships with others, setting a template for how the related to their other family members, friends, and romantic partner. The estrangement had an impact on other relationships in their life.
From both the research and the clinical work, it’s clear that estrangement from your family takes a considerable psychological toll. It has impacts that ripple across your life.
Family therapy can be a useful starting place for those wondering if they can heal the hurts of the past and repair this broken relationship with their family.
Reference:
Agllias, K (2018). Missing family: the adult child’s experience of parental estrangement, Journal of Social Work Practice, 32:1, 59-72.