Every family I’ve ever met struggles when their kids become teenagers. Why? Because teens are in a developmental period where they need to push their parents away. I hear you, parents: it is rough.

Your sweet kiddo who used to love cuddling up to you? Now that same kid screams at you, “Get out of my room! Leave me alone!”

As loving parents who’ve worked so hard to give your child every damn thing they need, of course you feel sad and rejected, unappreciated and unfairly attacked. What happened to your formerly sweet child?

Noted child psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott wrote a foundational paper about the drama of the adolescent period. He emphasizes the VERY BIG emotional stakes of being a teenager, and he also reassures you: this is normal. No matter how great of a job you did raising your kiddo, they will go through a turbulent storm in adolescence. In fact, Winnicott explains, the better you did raising your child, the more turbulent it might be.

Why? Because your teenager is doing the important work of finding themself. And that includes all the parts of them, including the hateful, aggressive, angry, and emotionally intense.

But your family doesn’t have to go through it alone.

Family therapy can help build a bridge between you and your teenager.

Family therapy can help you figure out how to give them the space they need while maintaining your connection and parental authority. Teens need to feel independent while also feeling the certainty of the limits you set.

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